it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize