i permit you to call me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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