yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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