Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
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you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
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I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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