Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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