Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize