I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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