I'm jealous of your bromance
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize