And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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