I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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