so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize