So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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