i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize