i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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