If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize