just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize