Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize