and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They took my balls.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize