Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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