Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize