I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize