perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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