I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize