i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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