i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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