New invention idea: vibrating tampons
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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