a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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