And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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