Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize