at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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I FOUND THE LEGS
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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