If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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