So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize