You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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