somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
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i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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