hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
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I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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