p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i believe in u and ur pee
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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