I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize