ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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