I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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