Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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