I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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