Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize