the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
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I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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