For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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