Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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