Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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