Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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