Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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