Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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