I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize